Dezarae's Politics & More

I've published two short stories in two different literary magazines .  I enjoy reading the works of young and old people alike who are new writers. 

Excellent, & welcome aboard.  Can you include selections here?  We can always use more evidence that writing isn't a dying art after all.

Thanks for the welcome. A bit shy about exposing it, but here's one.  I wrote and published it three years ago in a small print magazine called "Barbaric Yawp" out of Russell, NY.

I Have an Ending


   Everyone has an ending.  I have no idea what my ending will be, but others may

be there to see it.   I may die slowly and watch life vacate me, or not see it coming.  I really have no

way of knowing what the end will be.

   If I could pick I wonder what I would choose as an ending.    Do I not want to see it coming? 

Hmm.  Would it be better to just be out, walking, minding my own business, turning to smile at a child

on the street and then..BLAM!!!!  A bus hits me.  No warning.  There I am; “ended”.  Just like that. 

People hovering around me saying “Poor old gal.  Didn't even see it coming.”  Ah.  I

hope no one calls me “old gal”.

   Or do I want to see it coming?  These are  my last second on earth, know what I

mean?    Maybe I'll make  peace with it like, uh, oh, let's see.  Okay,  I'm walking

down the same street. only this time I'm not looking at anyone and smiling.  I notice a

bus is out of control, going all over the road ahead.  I step up close to a building as

I see the bus coming down the other side of the road.  It swerves to miss a child, the one

I smiled at before, and heads right for me.  I see it coming.  I notice its headlights

and the grill.  BIG grill.  I watch as it  gets closer and closer.  I can hear the horn but my

feet are frozen.  I can't move.  It's coming closer and closer. POW!!!  I'm hit.  Dead on. 

Crushed into the building, crap in my pants.  People are coming over, staring and talking

all around me.  “Gee-sh.  She had enough time to move, for crying out loud!  Didn't she

see it coming?  Poor old gal.”

   Yuck.  I don't know that I'd prefer being hit by a bus, knowing it was coming or

not.  Maybe I could die from a drowning accident?  I think sinking as the air leaves your

lungs and watching the fish swim by could be relaxing.  Yeah.  I could be out in a boat just

canoeing by myself on a lake.  I notice the waves are picking up but before I can turn the

canoe to face them head on, one big wave hits the side and I go in.  Of course I'm not

wearing a life jacket.  Why was that?  I, uh, was in, hmm, too big of a hurry.  Yeah, OK, 

that  works.  I wanted to get some pictures of the sun rising on the lake and just hurried

out.  Okay.  Anyway, the wave hits, the canoe capsizes, and I fall in.  SPLASH!!!  I

realize I have on a coat, shoes and hat.  I try to swim anyway thinking I can do it. 

Before long, I can't keep my head above water.  I'm flailing my arms, gasping for

air and breathing  in  water...WAIT!!!!  I don't want to die drowning.  Nope.  Not as

relaxing as I imagined.

   So, okay, let's see.  How have other family members died?  Cousin Millie

fell off the roof.  Long story.  Did I mention sleep walking was involved?  Well, anyway.

I think falling from a bit higher would be nice.  Like say an airplane and I was

sky diving but the chute didn't open.  I grab for the rip cord and pull, but nothing. 

 I pull the spare chute cord and yup, nothing.  So I turn back over and look down at the earth, still a

long way off, but coming up at  rather fast clip.  I decide to focus on the birds down below me.

I try moving my arms but can't because of the high velocity in which I am traveling. I

think of all the articles  I have read about people who fell from planes and survived.  I can't come

up with one article I ever read about it.  Not good for me. What’s below?  I frantically try

to see what is coming at me faster than a speeding bullet.  Oh, good;  a cement parking lot.  Yup.  The

mall was where the landing had been scheduled.  Well, here I go.   Wonder if I'll feel it or just die from

the anticipation?  It's at this moment that  SPLAT!!!!!   We have touch down, Houston.

   Well, not so bad.  I mean except for the SPLAT and the panic at the beginning

with the chute, not as frightening as drowning.  Definitely time to think. 

   Still, that may not be my ending at all.  I have one.   I just can't predict it.    So in

the interim I'll not be smiling and losing my attention while walking, nor walking close

to buildings.  And I will be crossing off canoeing on lakes and sky diving  from my

bucket list.

   I don't mean to be so cavalier, flip, nor morbid about death.  But let's face it. 

We're all going to die. Nothing to be afraid of.  Many have died before us.  Many will die

after us.  It's the unknown we fear.  I tried to face that unknown in a comical way. I tried to imagine

how I would exit this life.  It's coming, death.  And there's no sense fearing it.

   So, how about just enjoying life?  If you're lucky you'll die of old age.  If you are real lucky,

that will be in your sleep.  If not, well, I've passed on the beginning of ideas on how to face it.  Now, go

on out there and live.  Enjoy your life.  But remember;  It's not how you go, it's the attitude you have

when you go.  Hoosier pragmatism at its finest.

Dear Reader,

This is the writer's best friend.  I wanted to add this note for your information.

While writing the final copy of this short during an electrical storm, she

 was electrocuted.  Didn't see it coming.   Poor old gal. 

Good.  I especially liked the Hoosier bit.  Tks!

My computer is whirling....it is taking forver.  I think it is "cleaning", so I am going to have to come back....thanks...I'll never be a pulitzer writer nor anyone to make a living off it, but I have a couple now out in submission which I much prefer.....th

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